ImpOp "On The News"

Michael Vick is getting a lot of good press as he is being freed from prison for murdering dogs and gambling. The former NFL All-Star actually hung and beat dogs to death which landed his evil ass in prison for not a long enough time. Now Ron Mexico is asking to work with the Humane Society to discourage dog fighting. Sure its the right thing to do, but you know this is all coming from his desire to play again, badly I'll bet, in the NFL. The commish has to reinstate him only if he seems rehabilitated and willing to be a good citizen. He's got a long way to go in order to convince me which is more important than the publics opinion. I hope the piece of shit gets laid out on the first play wherein he returns to the NFL. I'll be in the stands chucking double D batteries at his hopefully paralyzed ass.

Miami, Florida is having a problem with pedophiles who are complaining about their living conditions as many have set up tents under a bridge area since they are restricted from living around children and communities that don't want them. The pedo's feel as though it is inhumane treatment and want better treatment. Ummm, didn't you do something hanus to children? Oh you did, then you gave up your rights and are lucky we don't put a bullet in your brain to stop your evil thoughts. Pedophiles and doctors agree they cannot be cured so what are we dicking around about? Lets just exterminate the problem. Really, who's gonna complain when they are gone?

Dale Earnhardt is making the news as the face of NASCAR has not won a race in, I dunno, a long ass time. Who cares but I say make him turn right and he'll stop annoying us who want real news, as he crashes into the wall releasing his jaw into the dashboard like his cheating absent father. I honestly didn't know NASCAR was still going.

Miss California, a Republican, has been in the news for hating gay marriage and posing nude with her fake titties. Another Republican of the "Religious Reich" acting hypocritical to their Lord's word? I am shocked! I say just show your boobs and shut up. That's all you are good for anywho. My guess is Jerry Falwell is masturbating to your pictures in hell, while stroking off as many men as he can find while I write.

Afghanistan.....what to do? They don't want us there and we don't want to be there as are troops are dead, and dead tired from fighting a losing effort in Iraq and trying to police the war. Let's go home and forget we ever invaded those republics of brown people we hate but pretend to save.

Oh, speaking of Marines.....can we stop with the news stories of Marines and their families group hugging and praying to an imaginary god as they go off to die? Pretty sure you knew the score when you signed up to be a killer and don't you want to die so you can go to heaven already? Die already and stop annoying us with your "inspiring stories" as you rape Iraqi citizens, murder innocents, and destroy a country we have no business being in. Peace.

President Obama (yes, I'll criticize the Democratic President when he fucks up just like Republicans do.......constantly) is trying to regulate the Credit Card business. Why? If people are dumb enough to sign up for "free money" without checking the fine print that's their problem. Charge the stupid up the ass. Whatever happened to "survival of the fittest?" It seems like we are trying to save the ones evolution wants to weed out instead of tackling real issues. Stop bailing out failures and help those who pay their bills on time and need to be weaned from the tit of ignorance and Earth itself like a bad case of fleas. There is a place for these idiots to gather and bitch about things they don't understand and its called church!

Dammit think for yourself and stop listening what the "free" press is feeding your simple minds. Money is all based on perception and what they want you to believe so relax, watch your idiot sitcoms and things will magically work themselves out by X-Mas. Mark my words, this "financial crisis" will be over just in time for us to ignore the made up birthday of the world's favorite made up character and I'm not talking about Santa. Its all ok my sheep, sleep and let the elite control your dreams.