The Jackass Clown

So maybe I’m tired of being the Jackass Clown. Maybe I don’t want to put all of my feelings aside in order to make you laugh and brighten your day. Maybe you should cry. Maybe, just maybe, the Clown is not who I’m supposed to be......
First up, the rules of the Clown. Always make em laugh no matter what it takes and never let them know or gain even a hint of your true feelings. Put on your face and give a giggle. No on wants a Clown without the circus.
Next, there is no line you won’t cross, no subject taboo, and no personal humiliation you won’t scream out in a room full of friends and complete strangers. This includes hurting yourself physically and mentally for the benefit of kings and pawns.
Deadly Law 3, if you are bombing you are trying to be funny. The Jackass Clown does not try, he just is without thought or planning. Harsh fact, you either have it or you don’t. Also, always take on the biggest dog in the room. Don’t pick on the runt everybody has a bee on, target the Alpha Male and tear him apart.
Rule 4, there are no off nights and never, I mean never, expect anyone to want to hear anything from you but an offensive gut busting in the moment Ha Ha. You are expected to be on at all times and never show a glimpse of personal problems or moments of god forbid weakness. Your job is for the guffaws and not your flaws. Who wants to listen to the sad clown complain?
These are your basics and accepted early on in life whether you realized it or not. It is non-refundable as the Clown cannot help himself when presented with seemingly endless opportunities to insert and insult, ridicule, beguile, or joke in the loosest or most serious of situations. You literally cannot help it, addicted to the humor though not necessarily the laughs. Some people (morons) will never get the joke (especially if its on them) which makes thing much more pleasurable to the jester. Webster’s Dictionary defines clown n 3 a performer who entertains by grotesque appearance and actions. Written clearly and humbly.
You are an animal of a different color and can never change your spots. It is who you are and you should know the rules just in case you ever want someone to get close to you or let down your carefully erected guard. Won’t work, no one wants to hear it. Your dye is cast and the mission never ends, and is not even for you to begin with.
So forget your tired bad day and the love that has left your life. You have an act to perform in the eyes of every soul you meet on your eternal day of unrest. Lead the parade of smiles while frowning inside your mind through personal unspeakable hell on your way to acquaintance and part time social status friend.
Jackass Clown, put on your mask, the show is always on. No time for being tired or sick of it all. Dance..........