Lose Six Pounds In One Day!

Are you a fat ass? Are you a girly man who needs to get in shape? Are you dumb as paint? Well, if you use my new weight loss plan, you are guaranteed to lose weight! How you may ask?

I have found that if you go about your normal daily routine, you will run into a large amount of people, who refuse to stay home and take care of themselves, and thus they bring their illnesses to work, or just to society in general. Thus, the legendary flu! This happened to me as I recently encountered no less than five ill people in one day. What was the result you may ask?

I became violently ill from 7:30am until 2:30pm (I cannot guarantee this time line, as I passed in and out of consciousness), vomiting no less than thirteen times, while having numerous exits out the back door simultaneously. Though I did go through two bags of fluid, via I.V. bags, and three separate shots to quell the dual assault, I still managed to lose six pounds in only one day!

And you can too! All you must do is go about your regular lives this coming holiday season and enjoy the idiotic masses who wander the streets, refusing to stay home and nurture their colds and flu's. Thus, you will lose that acquired flabby gut, on your mom's birthday no less, and be able to sit back and enjoy the new, completely flushed out and ventilated, you.